Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize