The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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