I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
