And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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