bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
me + whiskey = a bad person
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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