Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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