Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I got inside last night via doggy door
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
