I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
