what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
are you so shy because you have an std?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
