I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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