That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
