i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize