Pants 0. Shit 1.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
