What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
