just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
