community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
