words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
