i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
