Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
