I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This baby is an asshole
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
