The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
