Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
