So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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