he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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