you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
