I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
