Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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