Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
