I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
