I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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