I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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