If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
