Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
