i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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