Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Randomize
