gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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