In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
