grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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