You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
