Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
