put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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