GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
