You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
