Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I party with great urgency now.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
