His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
