I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
