Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
