new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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