Whod you bang
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dicks are not precious.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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