what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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