I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
