im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
