the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
