please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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