You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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