wat bout pragnant strippers??
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
