well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
