HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
